symphony without a sound

Sometimes you feel like a symphony without a sound.
It feels like you're just there, not making any noise- not making any impact.

Not being a blessing.

Whats a symphony without a sound? It's useless. The whole purpose of a symphony is gone. It is just like salt without its saltiness

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men."

It is good for nothing except to be thrown out and trampled by men... thats what I am- at least the way I've been acting. I'm good for nothing except to be thrown out and be trampled. I just burden everyone else with my struggles.

I dont want to go out to prayer meetings, I dont want to go out to small group, I dont want to go out to friday night fellowship. I lost my saltiness. I lost the passion I've once had. I've lost the love I've once known. I only care for myself and my own growth, instead of being a blessing to others and growing together.

I dont have a conclusion to this. I'm still praying and thinking a lot.
Rekindle that fire and passion I've once had. Break my heart for what breaks Yours.