I'm on day 2 of my physical sickness. During the past 2 days, through the physical sickness, I've been reminded of how weak I am. I'm weak physically, spiritually, mentally, in every way. It has been a good reminder for me to not lean on myself but on God.
"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I'm weak, then I am strong." - 2nd Corinthians 12:10
The thing is though, I haven't been sick just for 2 days. I've been sick my whole life. I carry pride like a disease, I fall down because I have no strength, I'm blind, I'm deaf, and my heart is not in the right place.
More than any medicine, vitamins, sleep, or even water, God is my healer. Not only from my physical sickness right now, but in everything. I've been listening to the song "Healer" by Michael Guglielmucci of Hillsongs. It goes like this.
You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through the fire
and heal all my disease
I trust in You
I trust in You
I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
I want to be cleansed. I want to be clean. I dont want to carry this disease any longer. More than my physical weakness, I want to be healed from my spiritual sickness.
but it'd be great if I can get over this physical sickness too. Especially before Leader Peter's wedding :) hahaha. So it'd be awesomee if you guys can pray for mee!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the Gospel
While i was sharing with a sister about my missions trip, she encouraged me to continue to journal as i have been doing in China. i've decided that this is going to be my means of journal-ing, or my attempt at it. im not much of a writer, but i began to see how important it is to write down my thoughts.
its only been a month since i've come back from China and it already feels like a distant memory. i forget easily of the things i've learned and things God showed me. Especially after school started and i'm caught up in school, studying, catching up with people, church, whatevers, i haven't been keeping up to any of my commitments. its SO hard. I've been sharing a lot about my China trip but the more I share, it feels like dead words because I've repeated it too many times. My prayer is that God may rekindle the first love I've had, or the love I've had while I was in China.
One thing cool though was that when my China team came up, it was a physical reminder for me to see that God is still the same God here, as He was in China. He is still doing His amazing works and everything, it's just that i'm blind to it due to my own selfish ambitions.
I've been continuing to pray about accountability back at Berkeley ever since the last week of China. I seek for accountability from true brothers/sisters for me to share with them and for them to encourage me, help me, and rebuke me when i'm in sin. While i'm continuing to seek more and more of accountability, i do have few true brothers and sisters.
One brother encouraged me this week by sharing the verse He's been focusing on.
"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel."
-Philippians 1:27
This is it. that WHATEVER i do, i may conduct myself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. I am His disciple and I want to be sanctified- set apart from the world. I want to love as He loved me. I want to be taken deeper and deeper in His love and word. In every action, in every word, in every thought, and mind, I pray that God may transform me by the renewing of the mind, to be a person who conducts himself in a manner worthy of the gospel.
its only been a month since i've come back from China and it already feels like a distant memory. i forget easily of the things i've learned and things God showed me. Especially after school started and i'm caught up in school, studying, catching up with people, church, whatevers, i haven't been keeping up to any of my commitments. its SO hard. I've been sharing a lot about my China trip but the more I share, it feels like dead words because I've repeated it too many times. My prayer is that God may rekindle the first love I've had, or the love I've had while I was in China.
One thing cool though was that when my China team came up, it was a physical reminder for me to see that God is still the same God here, as He was in China. He is still doing His amazing works and everything, it's just that i'm blind to it due to my own selfish ambitions.
I've been continuing to pray about accountability back at Berkeley ever since the last week of China. I seek for accountability from true brothers/sisters for me to share with them and for them to encourage me, help me, and rebuke me when i'm in sin. While i'm continuing to seek more and more of accountability, i do have few true brothers and sisters.
One brother encouraged me this week by sharing the verse He's been focusing on.
"Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel."
-Philippians 1:27
This is it. that WHATEVER i do, i may conduct myself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. I am His disciple and I want to be sanctified- set apart from the world. I want to love as He loved me. I want to be taken deeper and deeper in His love and word. In every action, in every word, in every thought, and mind, I pray that God may transform me by the renewing of the mind, to be a person who conducts himself in a manner worthy of the gospel.
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